Written by Alex Seleznev, MBA, CFP®, CFA | July 16, 2025
As many of you know, I’m a strong believer that estate planning is a core part of a solid financial plan. At the very least, everyone should have a basic will in place no matter your age, health or net worth. But depending on your situation, it can get more complex than that, especially when trusts, healthcare directives or beneficiary designations come into play.
Once you’ve taken care of the legal documents, the next big question is:
How do you actually communicate your wishes to your loved ones?
Some people decide to sit everyone down during the holidays to walk through their estate plans (easier said than done). Others choose to meet with each beneficiary privately and explain their decisions one-on-one. And, of course, some say nothing at all and leave their families to figure it out later (not something I recommend). If you’re unsure of the best way to go about it, that’s where something called a “Love Letter to My Family” can be incredibly helpful.
So what is it?
A love letter to your family is a heartfelt message that shares your values, your hopes and the reasons behind your decisions. It’s your chance to talk to your family, in your own words, when you’re no longer able to do so in person.
You might share stories or lessons you’ve learned along the way.
You can explain why you made certain choices in your will.
You can tell your children how proud you are of them or express your love in a way they can return to again and again.
One of the biggest benefits of writing a letter like this is clarity.
Legal documents explain what happens, but rarely why. This letter helps fill in that emotional gap. It can reduce confusion and help your family better understand your intentions, especially during a time that might already feel overwhelming. A few honest sentences such as “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” “Please take care of one another” can mean the world to someone who’s missing you. It becomes something your loved ones can hold on to.
That said, it’s important to remember that this letter isn’t a legal document. It won’t override your will or trusts. It’s not the place for instructions about asset transfers or medical care. And if it contradicts your legal documents, it could cause confusion. So make sure they’re all in sync. Still, when done thoughtfully, a love letter can be one of the most meaningful things you leave behind. It doesn’t have to be long or fancy. Just honest. Just you.
If you want me to send you a copy of our letter template, just send us an email and I will gladly share it with you.