“I never thought my dad would need so much of my time.”

When you think about helping your parents with their healthcare needs later in life, what do you picture?

For many, including our clients, the financial component of not being a burden on your loved ones is a priority.

So people plan ahead to make sure their finances can handle their future expenses without breaking the bank.

What many don't think about is who will actually arrange for and manage the care.

Think about it.

Who would arrange for different appointments, house maintenance, in-home aides, long-term care reimbursements and other related tasks?

I believe most people don't think enough about the logistics and how much time it takes.

One of our clients, we'll call her Jessica, experienced exactly this struggle.

Jessica had many conversations with her father about the eventual need to provide long term care for him.

She knew ahead of time that taking care of her father would be on her shoulders.

Fortunately, they started talking about it early enough that they could take some proactive steps to plan for the dementia's inevitable progression.

Her father was financially comfortable in retirement and his biggest wish was to stay in their family home as long as possible.

So, on paper they were financially prepared for what was to come.

But then the inevitable happened

As time went on, her father's dementia began to progress.

What began as occasional check-ins evolved into a part time commitment for Jessica.

Then it quickly turned into something that felt like a second job she never signed up for.

Jessica found herself caught in the middle of medication schedules, home maintenance and the constant emotional weight of watching a parent decline.

The reality of aging in place shifted from a peaceful goal to daily exhaustion.

There was no one to trade shifts with or share the mental load.

Eventually the strain began to impact her professional life as her career started to take a back seat to the urgent needs of her father.

When Jessica shared with me how she felt about her situation, I learned an important lesson.

We plan for the financial cost of care but often forget to plan for the logistical and emotional difficulties.

Even with a healthy bank account, someone still has to manage the care providers, show up for the emergencies and navigate the healthcare system.

Asking for help

Something Jessica said in one of our meetings has stayed with me ever since.

"I never thought my dad would need so much of my time."

It was time to shift to the next stage of her father's plan and bring in outside help.

After all, this was exactly why her father saved so diligently and had the insurance to help with the costs.

It was an additional expense but it was totally worth it.

It allowed her to stop being a full time care manager and go back to being a daughter.

To be clear, Jessica is still involved but it's no longer a full time job for her.

What does this mean for you?

The idea of planning for long-term care expenses is top of mind for many of our clients.

I will tell you this is perhaps one of the top three questions I get from our new clients when we begin working on their retirement plan.

But many neglect to think about who will actually be managing the care for them.

Will this be your spouse? Your children? If so, how will this impact their life even if the financial side is taken care of?

I encourage you to keep this in mind as you think about this very important topic of long term care and medical expenses.