5 retirement questions that have nothing to do with money

You might be surprised to know that many of my conversations with clients are actually about the non-financial parts of their lives.

Just to give you an example, I have clients in their late 60s who wanted to start discussing which retirement community might be right for them 10 years from now.

That’s ten years out!

When I asked what triggered this besides wanting to be prepared, they told me that social factors are one of the primary reasons they don't want to age at home.

This kind of conversation comes up more often than you might think, especially when we talk about aging and related issues.

In this newsletter, I wanted to share some observations that come out of many conversations on the subject and point you toward a resource that may be valuable to many.

If you think about these in advance, and in conjunction with having a strong financial plan in place, I believe you will have a higher chance of enjoyable and less stressful later retirement years.

So here are the five questions for you to consider.

Who will actually coordinate and oversee your care?

Having the funds to pay for care is one thing.

Having someone to coordinate it is another thing entirely.

Many retirees assume adult children will automatically do this for them, but is that always the best or fairest choice?

Over the years, I’ve been part of many intra family conversations on the subject that felt uncomfortable to say the least.

But as I think about it, many of these conversations would have been easier or eliminated altogether with proactive communication and planning.

Keep in mind your kids often balance full-time careers, their own families, and sometimes live far from where you are.

Hiring or arranging for someone else to take care of this important role can help keep your relationship with your adult children less strained.

Who will spot cognitive changes early?

Cognitive decline often happens gradually.

Family members can sometimes be driven by love or denial. As a result, they are frequently hesitant to point out early red flags.

Sometimes they even miss them entirely because they only see you a few times a year.

Being part of a community or having friends who see you frequently can help you catch subtle changes early.

One example comes to mind. I will call her Clara for this newsletter.

I have known Clara for close to a decade. She was always organized, always prepared and usually the first to send me her documents before our meetings.

Then something shifted.

She started sending her information late and follow up items we discussed would go unaddressed.

Small things at first, but the pattern was clear to me because of how many years I had worked with her.

I eventually reached out to her son, who occasionally joined our meetings.

That was not an easy phone call to make. But I am glad I made it.

Clara's cognitive ability declined much faster over the following year. Her son is now part of every meeting we have.

Catching it early did not change what was coming. But it meant her family had time to prepare rather than react.

What happens if your mobility declines?

For most of us, even those who live in cities, driving is still one of the most efficient ways to get places.

So what happens if or when you stop driving for any reason?

One of my clients gave up driving last year and told me the hardest part was not the logistics.

It was losing the ability to just go somewhere when she felt like it.

As your mobility declines, how will you continue to be part of your community and maintain your friendships?

A lot of my clients love to stay active through their physical hobbies, like golf, tennis or pickleball.

But there will come a time when these activities become harder to do.

So consider adding some physically accessible hobbies to your life to help balance this out. (I hear mahjong is a great choice and plan to try it myself at some point!)

Who will care for your pets if you no longer can?

Our pets are family, but I rarely see them accounted for in long-term care plans.

What will you do if you need to stay at a hospital for a while?

Who will take care of your pet?

It doesn't have to be complicated and knowing some pet caretakers now is a great way to be proactive about this possibility.

There are also animal rescue organizations that can help if you don't have a family member or friend who can do it.

I also have a number of clients who created Pet Trusts to take care of their pets when they are no longer with us.

This is particularly important for single retirees who don't have many family members.

How will you safeguard against loneliness and social isolation?

Loneliness is a real concern that can impact your overall wellbeing.

This is especially important for those who are single or widowed as it takes deliberate effort to make friends and stay involved in a community.

I have so many clients who shared this concern with me, which is actually one of the primary reasons why I decided to write this newsletter.

One of my clients recently shared an organization with me that does incredibly meaningful work and I wanted to share it with you.

The name is Barbara's Buddies and you can check them out at barbarasbuddies.org.

They're a nonprofit dedicated to reducing social isolation and helping you feel fulfilled later in life.

They have One-on-One Buddy matches that pair volunteers and older adults who have shared interests or experiences.

They also have book and game clubs that bring all sorts of people together.

This is incredible and I love the work they're doing!

If you want to volunteer or need help navigating this part of your retirement and aging journey, consider giving them a chance.

What does this mean for you?

None of these questions have easy answers and most of them do not need to be solved today.

But in my experience, the people who think about these things in advance tend to have a much smoother transition when the time comes.

A strong financial plan takes care of the money.

And asking these non-financial questions takes care of everything else.

I will leave you with a quote I have been wanting to use for a while.

"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."